


Faded && Dark

by rainlett



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: F/F, M/M, Soulmate AU, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, abuse mentioned but its only a sentence and its not descriptive at all, toxic relationships mentioned but theyre not actually toxic its just a common misconception, yelizaveta is a fanmade child i rp with people on tumblr, yuuri and viktor are soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 09:49:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10357650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainlett/pseuds/rainlett
Summary: a soulmark usually held one color all over it. their soulmark held many colors, all over. it was like a spectrum. when yelizaveta sees her soulmark, she finally tells viktor and yuuri about the girl who was hers, and they smile, saying they can visit her in the hospital. they get the bad news, and its too soon, too soon. no. yelizaveta looks down to her soulmark, lifting her shirt a bit to be able to trace the fond picture of birds flying across an ocean, and she thinks...she thinks maybe it was faded and dark because they didn't truly love themselves.





	

yelizaveta knew.

she knew what it meant when a soulmark was bruised and faded, but she didn't ever cry about it. she knew that it meant more than could ever be for her. she knew. of course she knew, it was following her her whole life. if a soulmark was faded and bruised and you met your soulmate while it still was, it meant there was no hope between you and your soulmate. that your relationship, whatever it may be, was toxic.

so yelizaveta lived her life in homes, knowing that they thought of her as a bad omen. the one thing about the poisoned soulmarks was that it was never definitive which party was toxic. so yelizaveta thought herself to be the one to take on the role. it only made sense. the hand that came to her was teaching her to do it to someone else. she obviously was the bad kid. her poor soulmate probably doesn't want her.

shes the one who tarnished what could have been. and that has made all the difference. so when she goes into her twenty-sixth foster home and sees their reaction to her mark is to pretend that she doesn't exist, she runs. she forsakes everything she was given, because shes a horrible, lonesome child, and she just wants someone to love her, because dammit, if her soulmate wont be able to, can't she have someone?!

but no, but no, but no. she can't. she thinks like that until she finds her birth father, viktor nikiforov. she doesn't even know if the one he made her with was his soulmate. later on, one look between the magnificient wings laying atop both his and yuuris back lets her know. oh, so thats why. thats why. she can never let anyone at school know about this. they made fun of the other kid who was born between two who weren't meant to be. that kid left the school in utter fear when it got too far. when viktor smiles and asks her if she needs something at dinnertime when she mashes the already mashed potatoes, she puts on a deceiving grin, saying no, i'm fine.

she thinks, i was a mistake. i was a mistake and you don't even have the guts to tell me that i'm not wanted here. a couple years pass, yelizavetas going into puberty. she doesn't grow any taller, and her mark stays the same. she accidentally puts on a shirt too small for her and during gym class, her mark shows. they all stare. she runs. when she gets home, in a fit of anger at herself, at the world, at everything for even making her live, she chops at her long silvery hair, the strands going from waist length to up at her chin.

its obvious which parts were cut seperately. she was not kind to her hair. she looks in the mirror, into her bright blue eyes, and thinks that its like the ocean. where her fathers blue was much the same, the expression in them was warm, like a gentle drift of water painting your feet with a splice of coldness. yelizaveta thinks her eyes look more like the unforgiving part of the ocean. the type that draws you deeper, drowns you. she falls to the floor, sobbing, and thats where viktor and yuuri find her.

they pretend that day never happened.

a couple more years later, yelizaveta has dealt with more than her fair share of bullying for her mark. she has a new classmate, that comes into the class, introduces herself, and puts herself away in the corner of the room. yelizaveta finds herself drawn to her. she approaches her every day, despite being ignored. her silver hair is now on her shoulders. she tries her best to befriend this person, especially since she learns that she has a terminal illness and frequent hospital visits. she needs someone, yelizaveta thinks. she needs someone just as much as i do.

it was an accident, she swears.

finding out that the girl held her soulmark as well made her feel... something she couldn't describe. so she tells the girl, and the girl cries. she cries like yelizaveta did, because she has come to the same conclusion yelizaveta has. theres no way this radiant girl in front of me is toxic. they both think theirselves the toxic one. neither are right. two days later, the girl passes away in the middle of a crucial surgery, but docters notice that just moments before her heart flatlines, the beautiful soulmark goes light, and behind the faded darkness that held it captive was a beautiful soulmark.

a soulmark usually held one color all over it. their soulmark held many colors, all over. it was like a spectrum. when yelizaveta sees her soulmark, she finally tells viktor and yuuri about the girl who was hers, and they smile, saying they can visit her in the hospital. they get the bad news, and its too soon, too soon. no. yelizaveta looks down to her soulmark, lifting her shirt a bit to be able to trace the fond picture of birds flying across an ocean, and she thinks...

she thinks maybe it was faded and dark because they didn't truly love themselves.


End file.
